in your face:

God widens my heart opening, a little more, each time I go through more emotional healing. This is very painful, at first, so I have been abstaining from alcohol, because of my tendency to drink too much, nowadays. Nobody knows how I feel inside, except for a talented group of spirit advisors, who know exactly what they're doing. 

There was no way for me to survive if I were to uncover all of this, all at once. What is "this" that I speak of? I don't know what to call it, other than 'in your face' misogynistic patriarchy, perpetrated by both genders on women and children. 

Short man's syndrome or what I call short man's trauma is spoken, but what about short women, or women in general? The moment a woman brings up her trauma, she is judged as conceited and average looking, who over-rates herself as beautiful, then dismissed as just looking for attention. This is made clear by people like Trump, with derisive comments, such as, "she's not pretty enough to rape." Paraphrased. 

There is no escape from this when you're born into an 'in your face' misogynistic, patriarchal cult, where rape is blamed on the victims. It's a miracle that I survived this, because it's just too much.