Forewarned is Forearmed

Meeting new friends- which I do quite frequently, because of my varied interests- is an opportunity to live in the moment. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy... until it's not fun anymore, is my modus operandi. What takes the fun out of friendship is obvious, so I won't be going over that in this post. However, I will talk about signs of trouble when having expectations of friends regarding protection, e.g: bro has my back; love for you; respect for you; sincerity; etc. I could go on, but I'm sure you get the picture. What if you noticed all the signs of trouble by simply observing how a friend treats themselves and how they allow others to treat them. It's often clear if you just notice, for example, the self sabotage, self hate, etc.; selflessness for users and abusers, etc. I could go on, but I won't. Once your self destructive friend realizes you're not going to be around anymore, they might react negatively by calling you names, such as selfish, user (they conveniently forget how generous you've been), etc; or they might do worse. If you're lucky, they'll leave you alone. The chance of a self destructive friend changing is usually the same as a preying mantis suddenly deciding to not bite the head off her lover- zero. If your self destructive friend finally decides to work on themselves through introspection, a twelve step program and a good therapist, then there's always hope. 

Self Care isn't Selfish